Community: Forum: Vegetarian Discussion
Vegan / Vegetarian Discussion - All Things Veg*n Forum
I am a recent vegan, and I have a 7 year old child from a previous marriage. We've always ate fairly healthy here, and of course now that I'm vegan, our meals are balanced and very healthy. My problem is that my son goes to his dad's house every other weekend and several other times throughout the year for longer stays. They have about the worst diet imaginable. They eat out for almost every meal while he's there, they allow him to have sodas, poptarts, tons and tons of candies, chips, etc. One of his recent meals was skittles, cheetos, a chocolate bar, a Crush soda, and a piece of pepperoni pizza. I know it's only a few days here and there, but can a diet this bad have an adverse effect on him when he eats very healthy most of the time? I always feel like he's detoxing when he comes home. It's always worried me to some extent, but now I worry a lot more. Any advice or help is appreciated. And unfortunately, this isn't something I can address with them as adults. Any time I try to talk to them about anything, no matter how nonconfrontational I am, it always winds up bad.
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Posted by ahimsa32fa at 09/13/12 08:17:13
Have you tried offering him a book or mag article to read?
Sometimes it helps to hear a voice other than an ex-wife's.
Might help if the book is written by a man, too.
Donny Lutz
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Posted by happycowgirl at 08/21/12 20:04:57
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. If your ex husband doesn't eat healthy at their house, you have no control over that. Just like in a shared custody situation how you have no control over what tv shows or movies the other spouse shows your kids.
Could you talk to your ex and offer to pack some sandwiches, snacks and healthy drinks for your son to take with him? Not sure how receptive they would be to that. Even if they agreed, would your son want to eat the healthy food?
That brings me to my next idea. Can you talk to your son about it? If they're serving pizza, he'll be eating pizza but maybe you can get him to choose a glass of water instead of the sugary soda.
At the very least, it may be of some comfort to know that you're not alone. Parents everywhere are struggling to manage their kids intake of unhealthy foods:
http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/2011/02/managing-sweets-part-6-10-strategies-for-ending-kids-sugar-obsession/
http://www.achildgrows.com/how-to-teach-your-kids-about-sugar/
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Posted by LSterling at 07/08/16 01:08:55
I see this situation come up from time to time in my law practice and I always wish that parents could get something like this written into the custody agreement right from the beginning. Of course, sometimes both parents aren't on the same page and then its virtually impossible to get any judge to order that the other parent feed the child vegetarian food, but if the couple can stipulate to this, and have it made into an order (basically anything you agree to can be submitted to the Judge as a "Stipulation and Order" and then the Judge will almost always sign it and then you have a court order, which "can't" be violated. So, hopefully, from your question, others can learn that if both parents are on the same page during the relationship and then divorce (this is California law, but would likely apply to most states), they should have it written right into the Judgment that both parents agree to feed the children a vegetarian (or vegan) diet. Then, if the other party changes their philosophy and their diet and wishes to feed the kids meat, they will have to change the order which almost always requires a "change in circumstances" which will be an uphill battle for them to prove to the court... For your specific circumstance, you need to do your best to work together with your ex and to find the common ground that brought you together in the first place. Pitting ourselves against one another will lead us farther and farther away from where we wish to be... a United front for our kids. Start small and find areas where you do agree, and build on those. Just by bringing yourself around your ex, with a non-judgmental heart, could very well raise his conscience once again and he could come on board with healthier and karma-free diet options for your kids. I wish you the very, very best. Don't give up!
