Go into the restaurant. Everything is ok, seems like it would be fine to eat there since I am used to watching them eat meat in front of me. Pick up menu, nothing healthy except fries and a salad. Waiter comes over, asks for drinks, etc. Mom orders, dad orders, I order fries and a salad with dressing on the side no meat. Waiter comes over with food, gives me french fries and salad. But wait. Wtf is this? White stuff? Parmesan cheese? I decide not to waste it, just give it to mom in a doggy bag. Feel guilty for trying to go out to eat with parents, since everytime I go out with them I can never eat anything because I eat so [censored]ing weird. Start to wimper, take a sip of water, run to restroom. Go to a stall, bawl my eyes out silenty for 10 minutes against the wall. Sitting, thinking, what am I doing? Why is life have to be so difficult? Go back to tabel, mom and dad are asking where I was, tell them I was in the restroom. Grab salad, walk outside before they do, stare into sky and keep pondering and still trying to hold in the tears that I have about this. Mom asks if I am crying, I tell her I am not. Get into car, they apologize for asking me to come out, I tell them it's not their fault "I am so [censored]ing weird and obscure". Go home, keep silent the entire drive. Get into house, run upstairs to my room, shut my door.
Brushing off the salad would be an option. Still wouldn't eat it. I am lactose intolerant. Not being able to eat anything with my family is the worst feeling in the entire world. I hate it. Every goddamn family reunion and gathering has all been the same: no one makes anything that I eat because I am just a picky eater. Really, I have no sense of why I do this sometimes. What am I doing this for? Then I look outside, at my dog, at the flowers, at the birds, squirrels, insects.....I realize what I do this for. I want to end all of the things that people think as being healthy.
I have read a bunch of short stories but they were Star Trek. One story was of people that couldn't stand Earth, so they go develope their own planet free from their ignorance. I want to do that. It's what I want is to be with people as weird as me who don't eat any animals or anything from them. And then I will tell my grandchildren of how people used to eat brutally killed animals for nutrients and they would think I was telling a horror story and think of these people as ignorant and stupid people or they would think I was fibbing or telling a lie. Unfortuneately, I only dream of this and the present can only change if I do something but there is nothing for me to change. I cannot change any others for being ignorant. I know now, that although I may be ignorant for not eating animals, I still feel happy being who I am and no one can change me for that.
Posted by savetheanimals at 07/08/13 17:15:18You sound like you need to be around more vegans for support. I wish there was a vegan country but, we know there is not. Maryland is very vegan friendly though. I have an apartment here and would only want a vegan if I do rent it out. I don't want anything nonvegan in my apartment. I can show you all the vegan places. I know you live in Ohio but, you don't seem to have enough vegan support there. You don't eat [censored]ing weird everyone else does. Do you not think that flesh, cow secretions, hen periods, and bee vomit are weird. I know you do so, don't put yourself down and get some vegan support. I hope you come to Maryland but,I know you have a life in Ohio. Even if you don't come to Maryland you should still get support. I am sure there are vegan groups and ways to meet vegans in Ohio.
Posted by DC1346 at 07/08/13 18:54:00This is going to sound strange except perhaps to other vegans - but when I'm invited out to dinner, I generally eat before I go unless I know that I'm going to a vegan friendly restaurant.
It is admittedly, a miserable experience to sit and watch other people eat while you're hungry.
In reading your post, I'm not clear on how your father's birthday was ruined. It sounds as though he enjoyed his dinner. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy yours.