I've been a vegetarian since I was 7.
My father's family is native american and I watched my Uncle kill a rabbit. When my father explained we eat the rabbits, I was done with meat.
When I was 16, I fell hard into anorexia. It's been a struggle, and at 31 I'm psychologically better, physically better, but still having a personal struggle.
I've been in current recovery for 3 years, this is going into my 4th.
I used to use Vegan and Raw Vegan as an excuse not to eat.
Because of the length of time I've battled anorexia, I don't actually feel hunger. I can't tell I'm hungry until I start hearing my stomach gurgle. Then I'm like "oh, yeah. I should eat".
My biggest biggest biggest downfall?
I have a vegan lifestyle beyond food. My clothes are vegan, my cosmetics and beauty supplies are vegan, and all cruelty free. I drink almond or soy milk, I can make my own fruit juices, but cheese will be the bane of my veganism attempt.
And part of the reason is because my family orders pizza a lot.
See, we order pizza a lot because I am fairly inept at cooking.
My fiance went vegetarian shortly after I moved in with him, thanks to Food INC. (over a year ago). He's unaware of the options there are to make great dinners.
Because I've spent the last half of my life afraid of food, I'm not that good at cooking for my family.
My son loves veggies, even random veggies like red bell peppers, and cucumbers.
I'm who I am with food;
and my fiance has to eat snack-like food. Finger foods, nothing big like lasagna. His issue is too long to explain, but its hard for him to eat big meals.
I want to eventually go Raw. I want to be able to not fear food. I have fibromyalgia; which I know will be reversed with a raw food lifestyle. I'm too broke to get kitchen stuff to accommodate it anyway, but i just wish I could walk away from cheese.
(i'm just worried that if i begin to walk away from one food again, i'll relapse and trigger into walking away from all food again.)
sorry for using this as a personal blog.
i just really need to get a lot off my chest.
Posted by dragonfruit at 05/23/13 13:57:07You're kidding right? More than 40 hits and no replies?! Wow, I just have to reply to give you a hug if nothing else!
Gee, I think we all crave something to a point of abuse sometime in our lives, and for most of us more than once! I've had my share and discovered that the solution is somewhere between satisfying the craving and finding something bigger and better to dote on...
Now, at 60, I don't "stray" too much from the focus... My attention happens to be on "service" to life... I've discovered talents within myself that lend to some "offering" and I wake up each day with an agenda to make a little more progress in helping humankind and somehow validating my existence...
This path may sound foolish or fanciful but for me I have discovered that the alternative is some kind of indulgence that serves nothing but maybe satisfying a egocentric craving....
I hope you don't think my "philosophy" too direct... Sorry if you do... When I was a vegan thinking about food was troubling... there were few easily prepared foods in 1970... I ate lots of fruit and cooked grains and beans... I still suffer from a mild intolerance of legumes due to eating so many as a youth... but, eating was a struggle... I "let go" one day , and am letting go even further with my two boys.... Life is so much more relaxed!
Find peace, gray martin
Posted by StephenS at 05/23/13 22:16:56Hmmmm peaceofpi. Sounds like you are on the right track. A supportive husband and a Youth who enjoys veggies. Your blurb makes me crave a red bell pepper.
Anyhoo - I think first - understand that cravings are your body asking for something. Either because it actually needs that something - or has developed a dependency for a quick fix to something it needs (this could be something chemical, nutritional, or psychological - i.e. : a craving for ice cream because it comforts me & reminds me of making it with my Grandpa when I was little). For you, with Cheese - I think you need to identify what (calcium?) your body is asking for, then find a healthy vegan alternative for it. Luckily - these days we are getting more and more viable alternatives for these products. Check out the recipe section on the HC site. Also - be conscious of making sure you get enough calcium (or memories of Grandpa) in the other things you eat. For calcium - how about some delicious steamed Broccoli with a Nutritional Yeast Cheese sauce dribbled over it - Yumm!! :)
Good Luck and keep up the good fight, oh yeah - and when you have those slips - or it takes you awhile to cut out a non vegan somethin or other - don't be too hard on yourself - just try and do it better the next time.