This seems an upsetting situation, not getting the meal you'd ordered and looked forward to. However, please try to avoid using abusive language to customer-facing people. Their lives have the constant friction of having to face people they can't get away from and can't answer back to. We never know what personal stuff they are having to deal with while still having to face us. If they didn't make and error on purpose and do try to make amends, let's be forgiving. It does us vegans no good to come across as aggressive, even to other vegetarians and vegans. You may not find 'wench' sexist and patronising, or 'shithole' aggressive, but many would.