Lacto
Ovo
Pizza
International
Western
Buffet
Fast food
Fusion
Honey
Non-veg
Serves meat, vegan options available. Restaurant serving pizzas, burgers and Indian food. Offers a vegan burger and vegan pizza. Open Mon-Sat 11:30am-10:00pm, Sun 2:00pm-10:00pm.
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1 Á Hálsi, Sørvágur 380, Vagar, Faroe Islands
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- Accepts credit cards
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Last update on 19 Oct 2023 by Guest
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Added by Dorooo on 19 Oct 2023
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5 Reviews
First Review by Dorooo
HeiferKinesome
Points +16
The Curry Is A Hindu Warcrime - Edit
Serving up the traditional Faroese curry that this hovel sadistically serves, to a prisoner of war, would be considered the most deprave and insidious of warcrimes to ever be conceived by man. Even countries that baulk at the prospect of human rights, from the sinister Venezuela to the lowly India, would be aghast at witnessing [censored] splotched captives, mired in the gaols grime, fed this incomprehensibly abhorrent slop, that would be unethical to nourish an animal with, let alone a living, breathing man.
Read moreNot even the fact that half the bowl is an assortment of spices, mangled herbs, deodorant and fragments of weathered boots can guise the rancid odour that the bowl of Cafe Zorvas curry emits. It is as though the excrement, discharged from the bowels of all the Indian staff at this establishment have interlocked as one putrid, disturbingly pungent aroma, a maleficent, eldritch aromatic abomination, that is a blight to any with the misfortune of having a sense of smell and who foolishly trusted the near unanimous, botted Google reviews for this business. Unfortunately I fit both of these categories, and even though I fled the premises, screaming after catching a whiff of the steaming pile of dung laden, curry filled apparition that they peddle, I am scarred and still unable to wholly comprehend what the loathsome Hindu sorcerers were able to manifest in that tormented bowl.
And to contemplate that not only do these Stygian rats feed us what can only be described in the culinary world as inedible, they have the audacity to charge us for being fed their venom as well. Truly the sheer disdain their owner shows is enough for me to consider him to be the bane of the Faroe Islands and my palate as well. I consider the grubby, corpulent syndicate of shirtless Indian men who operate in this establishment to be worse than even the most duplicitous and sanguine of femme fatale harridans, who slaughter men out of an unhinged desire for lust. In sooth, do not enter this area, and most significantly do not dine here, lest you wish to be subject to the most inhumane of crimes that can befall a mortal man.
Guest
KacieJohnsworth
Points +11
Don't Eat The Food - Edit
I'll say it succinctly, don't eat the food. When I was served my meal, it was brimming with dubious black hairs that seemed to dubiously belong to a man's nether region. I essence my meal was tarnished by prolific and thoroughly inserted pubic hairs.
Read moreGuest
GeorgeHopkins
Points +11
The Food Had Hair In It - Edit
So I popped by this humble little place last week, and while I cannot arrest to the taste of the meals, I can affirm that this business allows their meals to be served with hair in them. And no just that, but pubic hair! That's right folks, you heard it here, Cafe Zorva not only indifferently permits, but condones their chefs rubbing their crotch over meals, before they are served, and then when confronted justify their actions.
Read moreYet it appears I am too swift for my own good. While my claims may seem outrageous, ridiculous and nonsensical, I will tell you my story and allow you to be the judge.
After viewing Cafe Zorva's Facebook, and noting how users, who are presumably locals, had left incensed comments claiming that the business was obscuring negative reviews, had disabled their Facebook reviews section and were abusive to customers of Islamic origin, I decided, as a proud Northern Irishman, to go see for my myself.
So I went to this diner and after ordering a vegetarian pizza, I waited. After 30 minutes of idly lazing on my chair, an Indian man, in what he dubbed a tradition Faroese kaftan, emerged from a side door, bearing my meal, which was held atop of a How To Train Your Dragon themed platter, featuring the live action negress, who is to be playing the flaxen haired Astrid from the movies.
Before I could so much as tuck into my meal, I noticed that it was coated with singular strands of hair of varying sizes, and all the distinct colour black. Immediately, after noticing that no one was in the main dining area, I got up off my seat to locate the manager and complain. Yet what I envisioned as I passed the first door, which led to the kitchen was a grisly sight indeed.
Four Indian men, wearing puffy French chefs hats, red scarves, high heels and white buttoned shirts, were standing, without pants, over plates of food that were destined to be served to the patrons. What they were doing to these plates was inconceivably, incoherently insidious. They were rubbing their genitals over and over the vittles, doing it swiftly and persistently enough that they must have gotten carpetburn from the act.
Afterwards I ran back to my seat in a rage, and loudly proclaimed to all the customers in the room that their provender was contaminated by pubic hair. At my hustle and bustle, the manager finally scurried out from his burrow, and asked me what the matter was. When I explained he claimed that the practice was standard in India, and it improved the flavour.
Guest
StefanRasmussen
Points +38
Good enough - Edit
Decent food, nothing spectacular but better than expected for a roadside café opposite an airport.
Read moreVery crispy fries
Pros: Clearly label vegan options , Good service, Crispy fries
Guest
Dorooo
Points +248
Vegan options - Edit
Good and affordable vegan pizza. They also had a vegan burger. The Indian food and Pita had no vegan option.
Read moreIt is right across the airport.
Pros: Vegan options labelled on menu, Only option in this area
Guest
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