Lacto
Ovo
Pizza
International
Western
Buffet
Fast food
Fusion
Honey
Non-veg
Serves meat, vegan options available. Restaurant serving pizzas, burgers and Indian food. Offers a vegan burger and vegan pizza. Open Mon-Sat 11:30am-10:00pm, Sun 2:00pm-10:00pm.
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1 Á Hálsi, Sørvágur 380, Vagar, Faroe Islands
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- Accepts credit cards
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Last update on 19 Oct 2023 by Guest
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Added by Dorooo on 19 Oct 2023
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6 Reviews
First Review by Dorooo
OmnipotentFiddler
Points +20
My Son Was Kidnapped - Edit
So I was sitting 'ere, eating me dinner with me favourite son, when the owner of this establishment lumbered up to us with an unseemly gait, withdrew a red button and pushed it, causing a crane to emerge from the ceiling and pluck my son, who was midway through eating his burger and leave him screaming and in distress, as he dangled haplessly from the rafters.
Read moreNow obviously I told this brigand to unhand me boy at once, lest I go tattletale to the police. The owner just giggled like a schoolgirl and began square dancing, as I fumbled with my phone and quickly realized that I don't have any reception in this country, with all the WiFi networks available being password protected.
The owner, sensing my frustration, offered to provide a phone, but only if I ordered another beer and burger, which I reluctantly obliged to do, as I love me boy, and someone needs to do the manual labour back home.
After my order, and one quick meal later, the owner then handed me a 20 year old phone, of which I will provide a photo of, and told me to go and call for help.
As I began attempting to work this archaic relic of a bygone era, he then began locking my ear, taking a special interest in tonguing my earlobe. Eventually, after failing to work the damn thing, I hurled this peculiar device at a wall and trundled out of the cafe, my right ear and Tufts of hair completely drenched in his saliva. I would recommend that if you are in a similar situation such as mine, that you do not, under any circumstances, be cajoled into ordering an additional meal in exchange for temporary use of a phone, as the owner telling disgruntled patrons to call for help is little more than a hastily veiled ploy to acquire greater revenue.
Lastly, I would like to mention that my son is still stuck, dangling from the ceiling of this business, so if anyone stops by, I would greatly appreciate you freeing him from the mechanical claw that holds him captive and return him at once. If you have him just send me a message, I'll even drop me busy schedule for the lad and take him off your hands, free of charge.
Guest
LordTruthteller
Points +11
Dull cutlery, alongside a small plate - Edit
After paying in advance for my meal, my vittles were delivered, alongside a knife and fork. I was eating a traditional Faroese leek and turnip pie, which according to the clearly Indian owner was derived from a traditional Faroese recipe.
Read moreUnfortunately the pie must have been pre heated or something, because it was incredibly hard and chewy. This predicament was then exacerbated by the dull cutlery I was given, which could hardly cut into the softest, most supply butter, let alone a pre heated pastry of misery, whose only yearning is to besmirch and sully the culinary world.
Whilst I was hunched over, grappling with the pie and hacking into it as a sawbones does with human bone, I swiftly reached the epiphany that the plate was too small for the pie, meaning that whilst the pie slid and squirmed as I dug into it, a portion of said pie constantly dangled along the precipice of the plate and the floor, or my shirt per say. Resultingly, whenever I dug into the pie, causing gravy and leek juice to spurt out, the pie occasionally fell onto the table, or my shirt, causing myself to be saturated by a tidal wave of the pies unenviable and wholly dubious juice.
After around ten minutes of grappling with my provender based adversary, I was incensed. Yet instead of having a tantrum like a wee bairn and hollering to the waiter, I calmly stood up from my seat and maturely sauntered over to the waiter and stabbed him with the butter knife, and pilfered through his pockets to legally withdraw the money I gave him, as he lay, keeled over on the floor. Then I exited the establishment, vowing never to return and be blighted by these culinary sadists.
Updated from previous review on 2024-11-18
Guest
TaterTotlad
Points +6
Everything Was Frozen Cold - Edit
Fatigued from a long flight from Kansas to Copenhagen, followed by a brisk Jet ski trip to the Faroe Islands, I crawled through the door to this establishment, my clothes in tatters, eyes clearly and tummy grumbling. Looking for a traditional Faroese meal, I ordered the Indian themed tater tots and celery sticks, which were fashioned into the shape of an elephants and promiscuous Hindu belly dancers.
Read moreThe aesthetic of these meals was extraordinary and evoked a passion and ardour rarely felt for exotic, diminutive cultures. Yet unfortunately my entire meal was completely cold. All of it! Not even a miniscule edge of the lowliest tater Tot was heated. In sooth it was an outrage.
And what's worse is that when I sauntered up to the counter to pay, I espied the owner himself hunched in a corner, tucking into some marginally better grub. He was just hunkered down, sitting on an upturned crate, and in his hand he held an African pygmy by the throat, an elusive beast that was scrambling to escape, and then after snapping his neck he just bit into it, and not into it.
Being candid here, it really infuriated me. I'm here being given peasants rations, and the owner of this establishment gets to act as though he's the high King of the whole lace, eating the finest meals. If this was America I wouldn't even give him a tip, but since it isn't I'll merely resign myself to a negative review.
Updated from previous review on 2024-11-08
Guest
HeinrichKramer
Points +13
A Lack Of Garlic - Edit
Ever since I duelled the flesh piercing, fanged mutant of the Romanian caves, I have exclusively dined on a mixture of grapes, breads and vegetarian foodstuffs, particularly garlic, in order to ward away the Vampiric vermin who seek to drain the very ichor from our pores. In fact, my fixation on garlic is so intense that I will not proffer my services to an establishment that bears a distinct paucity of garlic.
Read moreCafe Zorva fell into that category. No garlic, not even a picture of garlic oil anywhere in sight, in sooth it was wholly suspicious! I bear, on a reasonable suspicion, that the owner of Cafe Zorva is a cape wearing, saliva dripping vampire, who we would rather espy the blood of a newborn secrete from his jowls, than serve garlic.
Guest
StefanRasmussen
Points +38
Good enough - Edit
Decent food, nothing spectacular but better than expected for a roadside café opposite an airport.
Read moreVery crispy fries
Pros: Clearly label vegan options , Good service, Crispy fries
Guest
Dorooo
Points +239
Vegan options - Edit
Good and affordable vegan pizza. They also had a vegan burger. The Indian food and Pita had no vegan option.
Read moreIt is right across the airport.
Pros: Vegan options labelled on menu, Only option in this area
Guest
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