Community: Forum: Vegetarian Discussion

Vegan / Vegetarian Discussion - All Things Veg*n Forum

Good day! We are a vegetarian devotee family. My husband and I both came from meat eating families, and while we love and care for our parents and brothers and sisters it is very difficult for us when we go to visit them. They don't understand our lifestyle.

I am currently struggling with how to relate to my brother in law who just opened a BBQ restaurant featuring all beef and pork. I have so many emotions related to this, anger, and sadness mostly. It is heartbreaking to me that he and his family are participating and profiting and ultimately suffering from the torture and murder of our wonderful and sacred cow friends.

We are planning a trip and will be seeing them for a few days. Does anyone have suggestions on how to manage the emotions I feel about this? about what he is doing? I feel such strong urges to educate but know that it will create alienation ultimately. I appreciate input as this is quite a challenging situation!

Responses (16)

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by ahimsa32fa at 08/01/14 07:13:18

    When someone offers you non-vegan food, rather than start a lecture, just say, "I have four reasons for being a vegan (or vegetarian), and say no more.
    If they don't respond, leave it at that...they may think about it. Or if they ask what your reasons are, tell them politely, accurately and succinctly.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by The Hammer at 08/02/14 03:33:14

    It is great to see you are unapologetic about the whole situation.

    As for advice how to deal with it. Don't even try to "educate" a person who is so actively involved in meat and earning from it, you can't. I think in this particular case simply visit and keep your emotions and possible vegan remarks to yourself. Just observe.

    And if they have kids try to sneak some vegan books to them when mr BBQ doesn't watch. LOL.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by AllyG at 08/02/14 20:46:28

    Make some suggestions for vegan dishes they could also serve or vegan sides - you never know you could plant a seed in his mind.

    It is difficult. I hope the visit goes well.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by LT-keliautojas at 08/03/14 01:57:44

    First of all autHor is vegetarian not vegan. Second i see you are spiritual person, so remember, that if you be angry, your family will have reason to talk that vegetarianism is bad. Be friendly, be with good emotion. Its just food, do not look at that so special. And remember we are just souls. Young souls never understand, older, like 3 years child can talk about business. And one advice, meditate, than you meditate your emocions will be good. Love your family and love live. Eat that you want, and do not think about that they eat. Be friendly and happy with them :)

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by ahimsa32fa at 08/03/14 07:14:59


    "Love your family" is a pleasant thought.

    But if you limit your "family" to just a handful of humans, or just our species, what do you gain?

    Non-human animals are our neighbors and kin...they are all members of my family.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by LT-keliautojas at 08/03/14 12:22:23

    ahimsa32fa. I not really understand that you want? Bad feeling or what? Look at the world. When with war we can get peace? Only with peace we can get peace. I recommended you to read books about pschycology or spiritual. I have many friend, many people who know me, and i never had problem with meat eaters. I respect them they respect me is simple. Without fight i cook deliciuosius vegetarians dishes and its the better way. I respect all people and opinios. My opinion also can be wrong, i not afraid. So i said, love your family, be polite with other people. And LIVE YOUR LIFE, in this way you never have problems with people. If you care what other say it problem with you. Yes its hard to agree with that but is true :) Good day friend :)

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by ahimsa32fa at 08/03/14 13:48:42

    I have a different philosophy of life. I think that when one sees injustice, the proper thing to do is at least speak up.

    If I see an adult abusing a child, I say something.

    When I see someone throwing chemicals into a stream, I say something.

    If I see someone abusing a dog, I say something.

    When I see someone supporting factory farming, I speak up. Knowing how factory farming contributes to human disease, world hunger, destruction of the environment and intense suffering for the "farmed" animals...would you have me hold my tongue, just to "get along" with the person eating that double cheeseburger?

    It doesn't mean I must be confrontational or nasty, but must I ignore it?

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by LT-keliautojas at 08/03/14 14:27:43

    Friend, you talking with concrete person. The point was a how to comunicate with famiy. Family you must love, . You understand that are lot people with low mind, so that you can prove them? Nothing. Then they saw you happy to be Veg it can change thei view. Love and be active and be strict/stern. And your examples are not about that, you understand? You must be with love and be active and be strict/stern. Quesion is that your inside. You can be active do this things to society, but if you angry it show problem with you. Thats true. Maybe alcohole, maybe lack of love. In your examples of course you should react and be active. My advice (its only advice, its your right), talking step by step not for one subjectg to ten. Yes you must say something, but you should know then do that and then no. And if you can Citate, were i say that you must ignore abusing a dog. I wait :) And in conclusion no anger, you and me are in one side :) Good day/night :)

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by The Hammer at 08/04/14 23:59:42

    Nice to read (and learn!) from both LT and dear friend Ahimsa on this topic. :-)

    "peace"? Wednesday Thursday Friday! Did anyone who talks about "peace" ever take a good look around? There is a massive war against animals at this very moment. Never in the whole history of this planet have so much animals been tortured on such a cruel level.
    It is easy for people to talk about peace and meditate and be "animal friendly" but if you were one of these tortured animals and REALLY feel the pain everyday you NEVER would "meditate" but you would FIGHT as hell.
    Lastly, i agree with Ahimsa, we ALWAYS should speak out when confronted wthcruelty against other people or animals etc, being SILENT means you are a BIG part of the problem.
    Should we be silent when somebody gets raped? should we be silent when innocenmt people are tortured? It would be better no Amnesty International?

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by LT-keliautojas at 08/05/14 00:12:04

    Yes, i see lot of fanatism in this site. What do you know about meditation?? Meditation is for your braine is like water for your body, its long discusion. Second, if you fight with your family its your problem. Third veganism/vegetarism reason can be lot, not only animal rights. Spiritual reason an d etc. You dont know who is peace, you can INSIDE be woth peace, and fight, with normal emocions. I see you do not understand simple things. Its sad, but i know that in world are always balance, go and fight with world if you happy and this way. And another time, do not talk about things tat you don't know. You dnt know who is meditation, so do not talk about it. You dont k now who i did for people that they, be happy, how many people become vegetarians for my job. So its easy to talk to you, but i let you :) Good day unhappy fanatic:) P,S I am so happy and so love this world its wonderfull :)

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by LT-keliautojas at 08/05/14 00:21:29

    Yes i sAw, that you Animals love more than humans, i know reason, but it can be you do not understaand it. Than you became vegan, and i garanted that do nt born for that your way, your food do not have earth energy, so your mind is very nervious. Clever vegan do spiritual practise, and you i saw in other topics, became angry and fanatic. I go to meditate for you my friend, for PEACE IN YOURSELF MIND, i wish you can be active to help animal and be happy in one time. Good day my friend.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by ahimsa32fa at 08/05/14 06:24:32


    Interesting that you believe I love animals more than humans.

    Humans are members of the animal kingdom...I learned this in grade school, 1950.

    I love (care about) all animals, including humans.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by LT-keliautojas at 08/05/14 11:49:28

    Ahimsa you really? O god, guys you read topic, and just improvization here? I answer you before.After that Hummer sign with conversation , and my last 2 topics was to HAMER, not to you Ahimsa :)

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by The Hammer at 08/07/14 01:17:30

    O my, the same old tactic, instead of coming with rational arguments and stay to the topic, somebody here gets personal and drifts away with the usual "you-love-animals-more-then-people" and "you-are-fanatical!" The same crapola that the meat eaters and pleasing vegans come up with.

    All the GREAT people who changed society for the better and ended racism, sexism, and other forms of opression, like Mandela, and Martin Luther King, were not the meditation kind of people. They were ANGRY people who were out there fighting injustice and experiencing themselves the daily hate from their fellow people.
    Martin Luther King was not meditating, he was fighting.
    You don't stop animal cruelty with meditation or by pleasing omnivores for the wrong reasons.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by LT-keliautojas at 08/07/14 02:36:22

    We stop discusion. You do right things :) I am spiritual teacher is my way in this life. Your live is animal acivits and its good. World is nice and all people is different. You do one big Mistake - your opinion you do to others. Its just for you. And my opnion is not your prison is just words that i must to say you like a spiritual teacher. You maybe are young soul you do not know about energitc body and something, and you will back again in this world. So its just fun :) Jesus, Buda, Gandi, Dalai Lama, Sri Sri Ravi Shanakar, this people changes not only small numbers live (like Mandela) but lots continents. its better examples than Mandela who do some bad things in his country. Angry is just emocion, you are young t understand it (i talk about soul age). And you can write what you want, i still be Happy and world is wonderful. And i end discusion with you and do not will read your answers another time, its your and my time wasting. My answers to your posts is one: LIVE IS BEATIFU KAND WONDERFULLL I AM HAPPY AND I LOOOVE THIS LIVE, I LOVE MYSELF AND I LOVE ALL THE PEOPLE. I wish you all the best in your life and your task. Do that you need to do. Good bye friend :)

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by LT-keliautojas at 08/07/14 02:57:03

    All people who meditate are vegans or vegetarians, and personaly my lots of student came to ve...ism than they starte meditate. People are not in harmony. Thats why tey dont care to eat animals. Then they be in really peace they ONLY IN THIS WHAY THEY GROW HONESTY and start do not eat animals. I see you have problems with earth energy, But i too have problems we all have its normal :) I must add this topic, because i want help to you. Thats all. I wish you all the best, and i do not back in this discusion.

Keep HappyCow Growing Strong!

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