Community: Forum: Suggestions for HappyCow

HappyCow Site Forum

I think all personal attacks and passive aggressive behavior should be grounds for banishment. On the Postpunkkitchen.com the moderators first talk to the offender and let them know if their post was inflammatory. If it happens again or the person doesn't apologize or clarify themselves they are banned.

There's no room for negativity. When a discussion goes beyond positive constructive friendly debate it should be removed.

Responses (15)

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by JohnnySensible at 09/09/08 07:10:29

    Anonymity is the core of the problem.

    None of the abusers on HappyCow.net have ever used their real names / linked to their own websites / linked to their Facebook pages.

    Think http://www.juicycampus.com/posts/gossips/all-campuses/ - one of the sickest sites on the Internet - all because of anonymity.

    Chip away at anonymity, request members to be open about who they are & abuse reduces / vanishes.


  • Report Abuse

    Posted by JohnnySensible at 09/09/08 07:27:25

    For those individuals with a history of abusive behaviour I suggest to "insist" that they reveal their real identities as a condition for continued membership. This may snap them out of their bad habits.

    Also I suggest to help Eric by pointing out the worst offenders to him - with evidence - he is a busy guy & he has missed some of them in the past.


  • Report Abuse

    Posted by HM at 09/09/08 08:50:35

    I did finally see what you were pointing out Johnny. Sucks that as soon as I say something in defense it comes up.
    Oh, well.
    Anonymity... well hall, I have my picture on mine because I don't care about my anonymity. I have nothing to hide. Anyone where I live can look on these and see what I write and such, which does say something I think.
    Anyway, seems like something can be done and it wouldn't be that hard.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by gr8vegan at 09/09/08 15:18:59

    Yep, I second that. I have my photo up and my personal websites in my profile. On some sites they grey out anonymous people. Even if someone has their face and name on their post and they attack/are passive aggressive/negative they should still get a warning and then banned if the behavior continues.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by Quasi Vegetarian at 09/09/08 23:47:33

    OK. I am going to make my say here.



    On my first day in the HappyCow I was malalligned and belittled. I had false accusations made of me and was really quite appalled by the sandpaper personality of one the "community". This little creature pushed me into a corner and when I made a quite serious suggestion to him to seek help for his obvious personality disorder he got even worse. Bad enough that the webmaster deleted his comment. But then he took on the persona of another small creature and weaseled his way into the webmaster over looking his crudeness and get "forgiveness". Several members of the HappyCow community later sent me private messages apologizing for his behaviour. Why would anyone else feel they have to apologize for someone else? For Him? Especially when that someone else so blatantly does not care for anyone else, even himself? All of this was brought on by the simple honest response to one of his postings.

    Why would the HappyCow community ever tolerate this kind of behavior? This caustic fustian is only crippling to the open discussion and communications of this community. How can this community hope to convert new members and grow positive ideas with this kind of acid flowing in its vanes?

    There is bound to be a wee of playful banter and jousting among the ranks. Misunderstandings are going to occur. Tempers may flair a wee from time to time. This is all understandable and forgivable, and at times may even make friendships grow closer as differences are worked through. But this one lives to find a pin[censored] the he may belie and bankrupt a conversation, deliberation or debate.

    I have been AWOL form the HappyCow for a wee bit for several reasons. Some personal tragedy in the family is one, but another real reason is my personal debate as to weather I really want to put up with this abusive individual. I have watched his MO. He will badger someone until they feel the need to defend themselves and then he will go on a rampage. Making false accusations and belittling remarks and twisting words trying desperately to take the blame off of himself and drop it into another's lap. Involving as many other people as he can muddying up the water until no one can see anything clearly except that they are not happy with the conversation.

    It is your community. You do not need the webmaster to police it. Just use your common sense and decency. If you find this behavior out of line then do not tolerate it.

    From a professional point point of view this fellow needs help. From a personal point of view, and I don't say this easy, if he were to be standing tow to tow with me on the street and were go off on me this way I would forgive it once.... and then I would take matters into my own hands. ( This should not be mistaken as a threat. I do not make threats. )



    Quasi


  • Report Abuse

    Posted by JohnnySensible at 09/10/08 01:21:29

    Welcome back Quasi!

    I am 100% certain that these are the threads which Quasi is referring to - below.

    1. http://www.happycow.net/forum/animal_rights/view_topic.php?id=70

    A "hot" thread with some serious misunderstandings & "far right veganism" in it.

    2. http://www.happycow.net/forum/animal_rights/view_topic.php?id=9

    After a nice post by Tatania this was one of Quasi's early "welcome's" to HappyCow.net on his first day on the site -

    ...........................................................

    kindlizard - 08/06/2008 15:48:06
    wow, it only took 15 months to respond. good job quasi.

    so do biz w all bad companies for the part time workers and such who can't find PT work elsewhere. great idea. Blank is a bozo, he is the one that makes out, not the guy making minimum wage getting piss tested, fingerprinted and so forth.

    At the point this was written, Blank was supportive of Vick, and no legal action was taken against him. So yes, raising awareness at that moment was crucial. If there were folks outside some stores the profile would have been raised, and bad PR is usually enough to make people reconsider their own indifference.

    Question my credibility? up yours. What have you ever done or suggested for the benefit of animals? Nothing? You still eat them so how can I expect you to relate to the urgency of animal rights? And precisely you go after the man who writes his checks, since at that point he was still supporting him.

    ...........................................................

    August 6th through 13th was not the "best ever week" in this Forum!

    Still it is good that we are finally discussing the matters of moderating the topics of anonymity & abuse seriously.

    John

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by webmaster at 09/11/08 14:47:07

    In reference to personal attacks, so to clarify:
    It's fine to disagree with others on the HappyCow forums, we just require that you be respectful in doing so and don't turn it into a personal attack.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by webmaster at 09/11/08 09:25:18

    I just noticed that forum subpages were missing the HappyCow ToS link and have now added that to all pages. When you make a post you agree to these terms, which includes this reason for post/account deletion:
    "Content that contains personal attacks"
    If any user intentionally is out to personally attack another user (rather than responding to the issue raised), I'd appreciate your help (HappyCow members) in pointing this out to me should I miss it in new posts.
    Seems fair to offer a warning the first and second time, and then use account deletion for those who show no lack of control.

    I do think it's great to post an actual photo of oneself as an avatar, much in the same way liquor stores and banks have mirrors at their counters. If anyone has ideas on how to encourage this, please let me know.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by JohnnySensible at 09/11/08 19:20:40

    gr8vegan - my congratulation & thanks to you - you have been persistent in highlighting this problem & now it seems that the solution is in place.

    HM & Quasi - great posts - thank you both also.

    The Focus of this Forum is now firmly back to promoting compassionate businesses / compassionate projects / compassionate eating / compassionate living.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by kindlizard at 09/12/08 17:31:31

    Yes indeed. Thanks Webmaster for taking the time to clean up this forum so we can discuss vegan values.

    While I like the idea of posting a photo, I'd fear that if you left a bad review and returned to the cafe/HF that it would only worsen service (potentially spit in food is my ultimate fear when dining out; somewhat irrational fear of this, though I did work in restaurant and know some bad things happen back there)

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by JohnnySensible at 09/12/08 21:03:46

    Eric - please - we had one good day -

    This last post is seriously "off-topic".

    Paranoia slurring veg*n restaurant staff on HappyCow.net - why?

    This is a site which promotes veg*n restaurants & stores.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by kindlizard at 09/14/08 14:02:28

    From webmaster:
    I do think it's great to post an actual photo of oneself as an avatar, much in the same way liquor stores and banks have mirrors at their counters.

    "If anyone has ideas on how to encourage this, please let me know."


    My response was to his post about me and my thoughts of why I think it is not the greatest idea. I believe members are allowed to contribute their ideas as to other ideas or topics mentioned in the thread. That is ON topic. Nor did I mention any cafe's staff, just in general. Things happen in reality...


  • Report Abuse

    Posted by kindlizard at 09/14/08 20:27:04

    I don't often send food back to the kitchen due to the same fear, fwiw. I have heard too many stories and have seen it when i was a kid first hand. these weren't exactly, joe's OG Veg cafe, but I think it stuck w me. however, i don't think its paranoid, perhaps cultural... that is, maybe it would NEVER happen in this region or country, but in Jersey, it sure does/did happen.

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by Quasi Vegetarian at 09/22/08 09:47:39

    I think I am of two minds on this subject. I do understand the reason for wanting to have real names and faces posted here on the HappyCow. That would be really a swell idea if everyone were playing on the same field. The majority of us would have a grand time with this and it would be fun, however I have been out and about in the world enough to know just what can happen. I remember setting in the Philadelphia airport in uniform in transit from the eastern theatre. I remember being spat upon and being call a baby killer. I remember the ugly things that people who did not know me or any thing about me other that I was wearing a US Army uniform and a Green Beret were calling me and saying about me. Several times it almost came to blows. At times it did. I am not sure that I would want to put my family and friends in a position that may compromise their safety. It would only be the honest of us that used our real names and photos as it is. No one, not even Eric would or could know if we were dumbing our pix and handle. So the trouble maker would be untouchable and the honest ones would take the risk.

    As to the spitting in ones food, I know first hand that this peccable action happens every day. And if you frequent public eateries I feel it very safe to say that in today's daffy world you most likely have had it happen to you. Ug, what an icky picture to poke out one's minds eye. I do not eat in these places. When I am traveling and need to dine out I find a store and choose my own produce. My mates can not talk fast enough to get me into a commercial food house. kindlizard's point is well taken and well advised. Unless it is just uneatable... eat it and be quiet... at least until you are paying the cheque. If you can not eat it then tell them, excuse yourself and go find another trough. Oh, and by the by... there are worse things than spittle in ones food.

    Quasi

  • Report Abuse

    Posted by kindlizard at 09/22/08 13:48:08

    indeed qv, I did not want to get into the worse parts, figured suffice it to say the one thing. the rest of it is less family friendly.... i don't think most veg cafes (or at least I'd like to think anyway) would resort to that, but there's always that possibility....