Review: Having picked a pretty 2 pound coin off the street whilst ambling down Stokes Croft in Bristol, I took a left up Nine Tree Hill and decided to indulge in a little latte action. Settling into my decaf soya surprise, my thoughts began to wander as CocoRosie's ketamine-induced ambient echoes reverberated in my subconcious. I was peaceful, detached but still aware of the tranquility that surrounded me in this cute cooperatively run cafe. All of a sudden I was physically wrenched from my breakfast bar stool and slammed onto the stripped wooden floorboards behind me. Towering over me with eyes mad glinting was the Cafe Wino Chef, screaming 'enough of your bourgeious reveries, soya lattes are counter revolutionary - submit to the homosexual revolution'. With both legs straddling this crazed cordon-bleu continued by smacking me back and forth across the face with a pair of yellow marigolds, dripping with soap suds and bits of red pepper. The sensation of the wet rubbery texture, stinging my soft cheeks, was strangely exciting and I began shrieking this mad autonomous cook's rant for all to hear. 'Cornflakes are counter revolutionary, cornflakes are counter revolutionary.'