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Vegetarian Families - dealing with an ex-spouse - Discussion Forum

dealing with an ex-spouse
March 14, 2008 09:36AM
Hello all,
I'm glad these groups got started. Very good idea!
I've been going veg on and off for a long time but back in Jan. I decided I wanted to really make the change and stick to it. I've talked it over with my kids quite a bit and they decided that they too would be vegetarians (two boys 10 and 9)- I was very happy about this but my ex-husband doesn't really seem thrilled with the idea and took the boys out to dinner one night and told me that they didn't seem vegetarian since they got some chicken nuggets (which he didn't discourage and actually may he encouraged them to do!) This was in the beginning of their choice to go veg and their resolve wasn't as strong as it is now. However, I wish my ex would tell them that since they made this decision they should follow through and I hope he would at least give them some praise for it even if it's not a choice he would make.
Has anyone else run into this kind of trouble?
Re: dealing with an ex-spouse
March 16, 2008 09:37AM
I can realate to non vegetarians influence on venerable children.I was a single parent and my parents cared for my child while I worked.My father would often tell my son that what was being served was vegetarian meat. my son who was under 6 often didn't know the difference and trusted his grandparents. There was confusion on my father's part as well as the store clerk apparently as to what was actually vegetarian. He would tell the meat clerk that I wanted to buy some vegetarian meat and what did he recommend? which turned out to be turkey or something like that. Well, after a few years, my parents did become very cooperative and my parents have bought mock meat when my father will make a barbecue ect. The big part of my parents reluctance was understanding the nutritional benefits of a vegetarian diet. They were worried my we especially my son was lacking in this area. Also, non conformance to the mainstream way of life was nearly as much a concern. "Why do they [or he have to be so different?" Well, noone says any thing negative about our diet now.Its who we are. My son is now 19 and a college freshman where it is vegetarian friendly and he loves the options.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2008 09:37AM by mothersson2002.
Re: dealing with an ex-spouse
March 20, 2008 11:46AM
Hi Ladies!!!
Im so excited to be part of this group, and to tell the truth i could really use some support too =) Well any way in responce to this issue, i have learned from my own personal experiences that firmness is the best way to go! even when you feel that you may be being mean, standing your grownd is the best thing you can do, I run into that alot in my family, i feel as times as a young parent i am often stepped over and frankly on as well.... being a vegitarian was a personal decission of mine and i have never forced it on my daughter, but the farthest i go is chicken with her so my grandmother tells her everything is chicken!! i finally had to just stand really firm =) people will always bash what they dont know, and i feel ignorence alone on a subject can only hold you back, hoped that help some =) bye !!

Re: dealing with an ex-spouse
June 15, 2008 10:08AM
hello alittlegreen: I've had similar experiences, where my ex was giving our vegetarian daughter bacon at 1 year old, and she was actually getting very sick from it (diarrhea, upset stomach). He refused to stop when i asked, and since i had full custody, i had my lawyer draw up an order demanding that he follow my dietary choices. He had no choice- he had to stop giving her meat or loose visitation. I guess that's a little drastic, but I've been veggie for years and feel very strongly about it. Custodial parents have full authority over food choices of there children. If you share custody- its a dif story and prob much harder to work out.
I've also had experiences with relatives trying to give my daughter meat, and that's infuriating too. I think it just shows such a huge lack of respect!
Now that my daughter is older and has her own strong vegetarian convictions, it isn't much of a problem.
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