Hi ThunderHeart,
It sounds like there is no denying that God is very real to you. Yet you joined the atheist/agnostic group so I'm betting you still have some questions. I wonder if something isn't getting lost in translation. For example, when u say God is real ...what is God to you? For some people the notion of God simply means the universe (they believe in a universal force), or believing in the forces of good and evil with no singular supreme being, or to some people God can mean believing in nature. For more agnostic types, it means believing that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God and that's not a good thing or a bad thing, it just is. I think a good starting point would be to ask yourself....to you personally, what is God?
Also, you talk about "turning one's back on God." What does that mean to you?