It's What's For Dinner
Posted by patrickbritton at 08/24/2010
I wrote this satirical piece that touches on some of the more annoying arguments I have heard from folks since becoming a vegetarian. It's not meant to be a "why you should be a vegetarian" article, just some things that people say that annoy me.
It seems that vegetarianism is making a comeback–or is that a breakthrough? Whatever the case, it is becoming more popular than ever for people to put down the steak in favor of vegetables and fruit. Toting health benefits and weight loss, it is becoming a viable option for Americans wanting to stretch their dollar and shrink their waist lines. But as we lose the pounds and cut out meat consumption are we in effect losing ourselves?
Humans are omnivores, there is no getting around it. We have sharp teeth–like tigers, well, sort of. We are naturally built to eat animals weaker than us, and we display this fact every fall by hunting in the woods for hours on end with expensive rifles. These animals do not stand a chance and why should they? Perched high on top of the food chain means we get to eat whatever we want. There is no reason for us to back down now. Darwin was right. Survival of those with the biggest guns.
Even with the commotion over global warming there's no reason to give up now. Looking at the bigger picture factory farming is the number one cause of co2 emissions. Even if that is the case there's no way we're going to save the planet now. That's like quitting smoking after being diagnosed with lung cancer. You can't go back and there's no way Americans can afford to do so now. This is our chosen lifestyle and the small handful of factory farmers that control everything we eat deserve to earn their pay while small town farms fall into bankruptcy. It's the American way.
There's no escaping murder either. Maybe I won't take a pig's life–a life that exists in a dark, unventilated area where he lives in his own fecal matter–but something has to die for my hunger. What about lettuce? Does no one care about the life being sacrificed for a vegan's salad? It's obvious you cannot eat without harming something so you might as well do the most harm possible. Vegan's do not see this logic. They are killing fruits and vegetables so they should kill pigs and cows as well. It's common sense really.
Which leads me to my next point; Why aren't we eating our pets? Can you imagine how many dogs and cats, not to mention guinea pigs, are thrown away everyday? Stop starving children by taking healthy and abundantly available food from their mouths! Maybe Squeeky meant a lot to you when she was alive but she's dead now. Quite frankly our pets are taken so well care of they taste much better than factory farmed animals that survive only because of the antibiotics that lace their feed do. Not to mention they are so deformed they can barely walk and would die within a couple years if not slaughtered.
It's the liberal movement that is influencing such useless compassion. Don't let them tell you what you can and can't eat–regardless if it reduces your chance of heart disease and diabetes or not. No one should force you to be healthy. It doesn't really matter how an animal is treated before slaughter. It's going into our mouths in the end anyway, right? If you're going to kill something it's more funny to bruise it and kick it around a bit before hand. It's what made the concentration camps so terrible. No pain, no gain. If we show these animals any sign of weakness they will turn on us without warning. Next thing you know we'll be the ones on the dinner table.
In the grand scheme of things it's all about flavor and it's all about human beings. We are the only ones that matter. Of the millions and millions of species on earth we are the only ones that matter. Forget about the weaker humans too. As far as I'm concerned it's a shame we aren't eating them as well. When it comes down to it if I can conquer it, it tastes good and no one will stop me from doing whatever I want to it; it's what's for dinner.
So wear your stupid Peta shirts, tell me I'm evil and don't care about the world around me and the creatures in it because I don't. I only care about me. Just don't eat me alright?